Zombie Bite

Looking back at my life and the different martial arts that I studied it seems obvious that I was destined to do Bagua. In both our life and our training we are given a series of obstacles to overcome so that we may find or better understand ourselves. We are not flesh, but energy and the nature of our energy maintains the same pattern in all of our activities. As I've said many times the problems you have in your training/fighting are the same problems that you have in your life style. In fact life is really a series of mirrors that continues to show you your weakness and strength through endless forms and patterns. Those who manage to understand their energy find true peace and happiness. While the majority of us never find the signature of our energy and continue to repeat the same mistakes. This of course results in a life that feels frustrating, exhausting or even meaningless.

There are various methods that people offer to help you find your "purpose" which involves meditation, isolation or some form of distancing yourself from your problems. This is great if you are a monk and you don't have to continually participate in the small mundane tasks of life. But the truth is that we are educated from a very young age that we should ignore our energy signature because it is insignificant and unimportant.

When I was young I enjoyed math. I could always get the right answer in my head before the teacher even taught us how to do it. Even though my answers were all correct, I couldn't use their method to show my work and thus I failed the class. This of course killed any desire to do math.

When I used "black" vernacular to express myself around my white friends they would laugh at me. When I used the vocabulary that I learned from my educational teachers around my black friends they would cringe.

If I wore something that other people didn't wear they would say I was weird, tacky or conceited.

Even the music I liked had to be filtered to the circles that I enjoyed hanging out with.

I secretly watched Power Rangers cause they actually had real martial arts between the corny scenes and dialogue.

I loved rap, but in order for me to do songs that would sell, I would have to act more "gangster".

I could actually write a list of over a thousand examples of how, why and when I had to compromise my energy in order to be accepted. It's strange that we go through so much in order to be accepted by people who are confused and unhappy. In fact the more confused and unhappy they are the quicker they are to critique your energy.

This ignorance of your own self energy will never lead to anything good. No matter how small or insignificant it may seem, you must draw a line until you can discover yourself. Some things you think you want to do, but when you try it you hate it. That's ok because that is the process of learning the shape of your soul. When you don't try the things that continually poke at you, it eventually becomes a zombie bite. You become a zombie among the mass of people that are already lost, trying to feed off the hope of those who have not yet been turned.

You can recognize these zombies because they always answer questions with "we" and "our". "We don't do business like that here", "That's not part of our culture", "girls don't like that stuff" , etc. Every time you use a group of people to represent your identity you are only further misleading yourself. It's an easy way to continually ignore how your truly feel.

It's so bad that people feel genuinely depressed when the basketball team they like loses. They have become so much a part of the energy of the illusion, that they don't even realize that they are crying for people who don't even like them. Many of the "heroes" that people worship on TV wouldn't even shake your hand. Why do you know more about Brad Pit than you do your neighbor? You brag about your country in the Olympics, but you don't even exercise.

I don't think that any activities are inherently bad, but if they influence you to the degree that you no longer know yourself, it's dangerous. We use politics, nationality, religion, science, fashion and even education as an excuse to not have to understand who we are. When you are young they empty out your "crazy ideas" and when you get older they fill you with their own. The meaning of our lives ceases to be peace and happiness and changes into the acceptance of others. Eventually you don't even realize that your thoughts are no longer your own. You just have this nasty zombie bite, that ticks you off from time to time causing you to lash out at your loved ones. Eventually you give them the same pressure that you had growing up and the cycle continues.

God tells us that our inheritance is not of this world. Many people believe that this means that Christians are supposed to be poor and miserable. But Jesus clearly says that he has come so that we have life more abundantly (In this life and the next). In fact he gave the fisherman so many fish that they could barely put it on the boat. He wouldn't give fisherman books. The desires that you have in your heart were put their by God in the first place, to resist them is to resist God. In that resistance you and your dream will become perverted into something of the cursed world.

What He means when He says our gifts are not "of" this world, is that they are not from this world. This world is only an illusion of reality. I was scared to go to China because of what the world says, I was intimidated to learn Chinese cause the world said it was hard, anything you want to do the world will tell you why it's impossible. But once again, OUR INHERITANCE IS NOT OF THIS WORLD. It doesn't matter what people think if God opens the door for you. The news says it's dangerous, but in your heart you've been told it is safe. If I had listened to the news about SARS when I decided to come to Taiwan...I would have been missed my whole life.

This comes back to why I feel I was destined to learn Bagua. The art of change. The ability to change your situation, weight, balance and attack in literally millions of possibilities.

 It's as simple as I couldn't accept the small choices that I had been given. "This kind of person should do this" and "That kind of person should wear that" 

I'm ME!! I will always be me! I don't need anyone telling me, how to me. The world will continue to pollute your mind with fear and convince you to kill every great idea you've ever had. Your gifts are not of this world because they are so much more. You will do things that have never been done before, therefore you can't be put in some ridiculous category. You have your own sense of humor, your own taste in style and your own purpose in this life. If people don't like it, it's their problem, not yours. There are definitely people who will appreciate your dreams and help you to mature them. Find true teachers. Take advice only from happy people. Be strong enough to be you. Discern yourself from the illusion of you.